I've been thinking, nobody in their right mind would be trying to achieve the pinnacle of google (uk) for pond pumps on christmas day ...... I mean, you wouldn't would you? ...... you'd have a life or summat ...... anyway, with this in mind I decided that today is the perfect day for me to launch my next assult for the peak (which currently stands at 3.1 million!!!! jeez, I'm gonna stop looking)

I would imagine that all round the world there's thousands of faces breaking into a huge illuminating smile as they unwrap their perfect gift this christmas ..... a pond ..... and of course the pump to go with it. I mean, what else would anybody really want for christmas? Forget all the socks and the aftershaves and the chocolates, give them what they really want ..... and then buy them a pond pump as well.

Now, normally, around this point in one of my pointless pond pump posts, I'd give you a link to my mates online aquatics business, but for some strange reason they don't work on Christmas day .... personally I think it's because he's to much of a bloody miser to pay them double time ..... but maybe he just has festive spirit or something.

I was going to send someone a pond for christmas one year, I managed to wrap the pump, filter and liner with no difficulties at all ...... but I was buggered if I could work out how to wrap the hole, so I just sent them a box of smarties.

Anyway, once again I think my psychosis has had long enough in the open air so I'm gonna put it back into the dark corner that it lovingly calls home

Merry Christmas everybody

¥

ps. Remember a pond pump is for life, not just for christmas.

Well, I finally managed to sort of plug my art gallery into the blogs and this skin, so the art link now shows you pictures!!! ...... hey, it's an improvement.

At the moment it pretty much just lumps them all together, but I'll be working on that over the next tad or so, then hopefully I can have my full galleries back again, and then I can upload my doodles as well ...... once I've recoded the upload code to suit.

I will warn any of you who have never seen my art before, some of it could possibly be classed as "graphic", so if you're extreemly squeemish, or under 18, then you may prefer to visit the Care Bears website instead.

Have fun

¥

Well, I finally got the chance to convert my gaudy old skin over to the new version of the blogs. Don't know about you lot, but I happen to like my tacky little pad ...... and I'm the one who codes the skin, so you're kind of stuck without an opinion .... of course, if you feel strongly about my tacky little pad then feel free to leave a comment with your views .... I might even pay attention.

If you're using Interdebt Exploiter then things might look groovy for a while until I get round to writing in all the crap needed so that IE can understand the terms XHTML and CSS. Until then you have three choices, 1/get a better browser, 2/ put up with it, or 3/ leave .... of course, if things are groovy enough, then you won't be able to see this post.

Other stuff that's happened recently, not that y'all care, it's just because the new version has a word count for posts, so I want to see if I can reach 500 words ....... those of you that know me are probably thinking "can you say that little?" .... anyway, other stuff....

I'm going to be starting a site with [stk], it's going to be kind of a merger of my dev blog and his fluffy article style on his blog ..... damn, that's gonna confuse the natives.... with a bit of luck, and a hell of a lot of effort, we intend to make the new website a source for plugins, skins and tutorials for [b2evo] as well as articles on other stuff such as XHTML and CSS, and other geeky acronyms.

Other geeky news ..... yeah, yeah, I know, you're not interested, it's just for the word count .... I'm sure there'll be more blonde news further down ;) .... anyway, other geeky news ....

I've been working on recoding a search engine called [elsie] for the last few months, she's not open to the public yet so no link I'm afraid, and she's finally starting to look like she can answer questions ....... which is a hell of an improvement on the Mighty V who just goes "urm" and then wanders of to some blonde place in her head ....... anyway, back to Elsie ...

I'm hoping that Elsie is going to be a very different experience from your normal search engine, whilst retaining all the functionality that you expect from one ....... I'll soon know, we're expecting just short of half a million visitors a month within a few months of going live ...... damn, that's gonna test my code !!! ... I'm sure she'll stay on her feet *crosses fingers ...... buys lucky rabbits foot for extra insurance*

Blonde news ...... don't get excited, I haven't actually got any, it just means more words .... urm .... sheesh ..... urm ...... I wonder if "......." counts as a word? ..... urm ... I'm still not top for pond pumps in google (uk), no suprise there then, but I have had 1,332 unique visitors to my and still not a single request for a link a day email .... it's a damn shame the spammers don't give a toss about stats that prove their worth.

Talking of my spam trap, I must appologise to those of you out there who link to it. The image died for a couple of days when I was testing the new blog software because I forgot to copy the image across. Obviously it's now back and I'll remember in the future.

Anyway, I'm pretty sure I've hit my 5,00 word target, so I'll stop boring you now

¥

Quote :

Why do people buy ponds pumps? ..... before "all y'all" (thanks [stk] for that Redneck term ;)) start sending me a million emails saying "for PONDS you tit, what else is a POND PUMP for" and its multitude of variations, what I mean is, why do people who don't have a pond buy a bloody POND PUMP?

If you're one of those people who has bought a pond pump who doesn't a) own a pond, b) isn't giving it as a present to somebody who does own a pond, and c) never intends to have a pond, then I wanna hear from you ..... no, really, I do :|

Of course, my curiosity about pond pump owning pondless people has absolutley nothing to do with anything, it's just ...... well, there's only so many interesting ways you can blog about ponds pumps, and I'm still not number one in google (uk) ...... so I just have to make shit up.

At least it beats all your normal spam for viagra , and cheap rolxes and nokia phones ( if ever any of you wants one, I know a spammer that sells them? :|), and it almost has a purpose ...... almost.

Anway, have fun,
¥

Ok, just to keep you all in the picture. There's a few teething problems with the new software running on the setup that we have. I am working on trying to cure these problems, but it may take a while as the software as a whole is still being debuged.

Your posts/comments etc are safe so don't worry if you get some funky error messages.

If any of you find any errors that I haven't noticed then feel free to berate me. I already know about the post preview problem, but figure that Steves blog could do with a nudge ;)

Anyway, as always, have fun,
¥

*edit*
The preview problem is now cleared