BOFH: umm
BOFH: i hate to ask this
BOFH: lol
BOFH: but YOU dont have a fw blocking that, right?
Muppet number ### aka "me": well, it wouldn't surprise me, but fairly sure I haven't
Muppet number ### aka "me": mainly because it connects
BOFH: no
BOFH: its the high port
BOFH: im reading this'
BOFH: http://slacksite.com/other/ftp.html
Muppet number ### aka "me": ohhh, hmmm ...
BOFH: and my box is set up properly for active connections
BOFH: "The FTP server attempts to make connections to random high ports on the client, which would almost certainly be blocked by a firewall on the client side. "
BOFH: they assume
BOFH: lol
Muppet number ### aka "me": heh, fuck me, yep I'd enabled stealth ports on my firewall
BOFH:
Muppet number ### aka "me": worst is, i remember selecting that ages ago
BOFH: no worries, I do that crap all the time
Muppet number ### aka "me": heh, where do I send the bucks for such soothing of mind?

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• Test 1
• Test 2
• Test 3
• Test 4

Bet you click them anyway

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Dear experts, I'm vexing over why google ad sense is rejecting my website, twice already.

They give me this message :-

We did not approve your application for the reasons listed below.

Issues:
- Difficult site navigation

I hope some one can explain to give what they meant by difficult site navigation. What must I do in order to make my site become easy navigable....As far as I know, it is just a very very simple web site whereby I'm still cracking my head how to increase the traffic to the website and customers...

Source : @link Why google ad sense doesn't accept my website?

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tuxnus: lol ... how one can go to buy cow dung and end up w/sheets and curtains is beyond me
yabba_hh: you should see some of my days
tuxnus: "I'm gonna go buy some cow shit," he says.
yabba_hh: went to field other day to rotovate a bed and ended up in dentist chair having 4 teeth extracted
tuxnus: "That reminds me," says she, "we need curtains and sheets!"
yabba_hh: "ohhh, whilst you're heading that way can we call in at......"
tuxnus: lol ... that kind of day I could do without
tuxnus: ouch
yabba_hh: ouch is not the word, I have a phobia about hypodermics
tuxnus: I have a phobia about dentists, hypodermics, R and a laundry list of other things ... which included burning hair, not being able to breathe and running out of beer
yabba_hh: I like to think I educated the dentist into what *real* "fear of needles is" ( "just close your eyes", "it hardly hurts" ... ffs, that's not needle phobia, that's a pansy ) ... anyway, I came within a blink of decking them when they brought a hypo out (full of some white shit) to fill a tooth
yabba_hh: their run up was very informational, but omitted to mention the fact that it used a hypo as delivery method for accuracy ... mainly cos they were never gonna stick it in me, so it wouldn't hurt, so I wouldn't mind .... guess that's when they learnt pansy != needle phobic
tuxnus: yep
yabba_hh: didn't half make her change her attitude

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Disclosure : I technically have a financial interest in @link JBA Seed Potatoes. Basically I bartered my time for running their adwords campaign for potatoes. Obviously I'll send the taxman 17.5% of these potatoes.

All 26 bags of them

Based on the fact that each bag had at least 5 seed potatoes in them ... don't make me do the maths I don't have enough fingers and toes to count ... anyway, that's a fair amount of seed. Each of them needs to be planted 10 -> 18 inches apart, depending on whether they're first/second earlies or maincrop. So, I'm looking into this big bag that, amongst other delights, contains 26 bags of spuds .... and I'm looking at my tiny little 13'x4' spud bed in the corner ... and I'm thinking, "fuck me" ... crude I know, but my brain was a smidge busy taking off mental shoes and socks so it could compute every possible planting pattern ... "how the fu..." words failed me at that point. Now I just know that you're thinking "it's your own fault you dumb blonde, you knew how big your space was when you bartered", but it's not my fault!

Measure twice, cut once

My dad, and several other old buggers, hammered that one into me and I'd like them to know that I took it on board. So, ages ago, I measured my bed space, and then I measured it again, and then I checked I didn't have to tape back to front, took off my shoes and socks, and borrowed an extra pair of hands and I came to the conclusion, eventually, that I'd need about 30 seed spuds to fill it. 30, "thirty", 4 hands and 2 feet ... and a spare finger to point with ... 30. Rather than tax my poor brain by trying to choose a couple of the huge selection of varieties that Iain supplies I came up with a cunning plan, I'd send him a description of my potato bed and leave the decision to him. He is the potato expert after all. So I sent him the following email :

Hi Iain,

Damn, giving blondes choices is never a good idea, I spent all day staring at varieties

How about I describe the bed I have for them and then leave the choice to you? After all, you're the expert

The bed they're going in is often waterlogged until the tail end of april so I usually just grow first earlies ( pentland javelin last year ) so that I can still follow them with my leeks. This year I'm liable to grow my leeks elsewhere so it's not as important and I could possibly get away with trying some maincrops. The bed's about 15' long and tapers from 6' wide down to 4' wide, so I was only aiming at 2 rows.

For my christmas spuds I'm going to be growing them in one of the undercover beds so it'll be a lot drier and much warmer and I have plenty of fleece. I'm only going to grow a single 15' row though.

We pretty much eat potatoes any way they can be cooked and we have no problem with funny coloured food

As I said, the bed is usually waterlogged until the end of april, so I'm in absolutely no hurry for them, it'd only mean that I'd need somewhere to store them, and you have much better facilities

Let me know if that's ok with you and I'll send you the delivery address of the field

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And this is what turned up :

Potato Planters & Polypots

It's a good job Iain threw in some of his potato planters and polypots otherwise I'd have spent a fair few days digging up the rest of the field to fit all these spuds in. Of course it now meant that I needed the odd bag or two of compost and I was going to need to mix up about 180 litres of compost/fertilizer ... that's a hell of a lot of mixing, so I cheated and threw it all in the cement mixer, in 3 batches, and let it do all the hard work.

Planted my spuds

So, four hours later and I've planted up the planters, the polypots, the two 13' foot beds ( I decided to reduce the size of them and run a path along the back ) and I've decided to sacrifice the squash bed and plant an extra 13' row instead and I'm feeling a tad knackered from the exertion. I didn't need to take off my shoes and socks to realise that after my valiant effort and the sacrifice of the squash bed, and including the planters and polypots ... I'd managed to plant less than half the spuds but at least I'd got some of every variety planted

We're gonna look like spuds!

I really can't wait until I start harvesting, I've never had such a variety of spuds before ... mainly because I only ever need 30 bloody seed potatoes ... anyway, I'm spoilt for choice and I can't wait to see the difference. Worth every minute of the time/expertise I bartered, and then some. Life's not about money and I hope the taxman enjoys his 17.5% of my spuds

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Dracone Yabba, made by Topanga, came along to help dig

Most of my undercover veg beds have been shut down all winter whilst they were sterilised which meant that I didn't grow much except some leeks, carrots and parsnips, all of which were outside in my lil patch in the corner. The only exception was this years garlic crop which was slapped in one of the beds in the large greenhouse in November, and then nothing much happened for the next couple of months.

On New Years day it was time to sow my onion (Red Baron and Bedfordshire Champion ) and chilli seeds, the onions were just slapped on one of the heated beds in the potting shed and left to get on with it, whilst my chillis were once again started underneath my computer desk. I'm growing loads of varieties this year which I got from a "pass the parcel" organised by a chilli forum ( @link ChillisGalore ), if I get bored I'll list them all at the end of this post.

Time passed .. slowly

Then I waited a couple more months ... and finally March arrived and things have started to happen. One of the biggest changes was the that we decided to rip out the partition between the two small greenhouse, one of which was used for dahlias, and my tomatoes, and the other was pretty much a store room. The glass partition was replaced by a block wall which will cut out some of the later afternoon sunlight which isn't great, but it also means no more brambles and, because the bed's no good for dahlias, I've pretty much got permanent use of that bed. The bonus is, I also got all the soil that was dug out when we dug the footings and this has now been dumped on my two beds in the lil patch in the corner. These two beds are always waterlogged in winter and it can often be May/June before they're dry enough to use. The soil from the footings should raise them about 6 inches or so which I'm hoping is enough.

I've also started to widen all the beds in the large greenhouse all of which were 33 inches wide as that's what suits dahlias. It's not finished yet but shortly 3 of them will have been made 4 foot wide and the last one will be between 3 foot and 3 foot 6. That might not sound like a lot of difference but it adds up to over a 100 foot more growing space. One of the first beds to be widened was the new home for my asparagus ( connovers colossal ), seedlings that I started last year, I managed to plant about 40 of them. The soil from the temporary bed that I made for them has also been dumped on my lil patch in the corner to raise those two beds, when the weather sorts it's head out I'll be able too finish them off.

Time to start sowing

At the start of this month I threw in a couple of rows of broad beans ( super aquadulce ) as they tasted great last year but I didn't have enough of them. I must remember to stake them much earlier this year. In the same bed I also planted a few 5 foot rows of carrots. These are old seed though so I'm not optimistic that they'll germinate, if they don't then I'll just get some fresh seed and start again.

Due to the crap germination rate of my onions I went out and bought some sets, I grabbed some shallots whilst I was there, all of these have been planted in the same bed as the garlic. I've left space in the bed for my seedlings which will be planted out in a week or so. Other seedlings I have on the go are some cabbages ( greyhound ), spinach ( lazio ), lettuce ( little gem ), cauliflower ( all year round ), spring onions ( lisbon ), radish ( cherry belle ).

I got a greenhouse!

Colin, who the Mighty V works for, has had to give up growing due to ill health, so he gave me his 8 x 6 greenhouse, for nothing ... how cool. As soon as the field is dry enough it'll be moved to sit beside my current 8 x 6 in the corner, pretty much in the same place the temporary asparagus bed was. At least this time I know in advance that I've got the greenhouse, so I can plan what's going in it and set off seeds at the appropriate time. This year I'm going to be using the existing greenhouse for growing melons ( not bought the seed yet ) and aubergines ( black beauty ). The other greenhouse will be used for growing herbs and spare chillis, once I build some staging.

The master plan

There's a lot of work to be done for this year. I need some nice weather so I can finish off the beds in the corner so I can sow my peas as soon as possible. I also need to finish off the beds in the large greenhouse and sort the new paths out and the surrounding area. Once the weather picks up I also need to get the greenhouse moved and rebuilt and the staging built for the inside. At home I need to finish levelling the lawn off, yep waiting on the weather, and sort out the bed where the coal bunker used to be, which involves ripping up the concrete base.

As well as all that, I'm determined this year to make as much use of the space I have for as much of the year as I can. this means that I need to be sowing seeds that will crop during the bleaker months, some of which can go in the tiny greenhouses in the corner. It's easy enough to produce a selection of veg in the summer months, but it's winter time when we appreciate it most, so I need to crack it.

What's growing where

It's probably easiest if I describe my growing space before I list what's going in each bed as it's a tad different to most peoples. Firstly the beds in our tiny lil garden at home. Once I've dug up the concrete base I'll have a 12' x 3' bed in the sunniest spot and 2 * 4' x 4' and a 6' x 4' bed that get morning sun, and a narrow bed along the length of the trellis. I'll be moving the two big planters that we have around to the front, they're 4'x2' and about 1' deep so plenty of room for most things, and they'll get full sun from around 11 onwards in the summer.

My main growing area is at the field where I help a friend who grows and shows dahlias. In the corner of the field is my original veg plot, although it's been changed around a few times over the years. It currently consists of 2 beds both 15' long although I'm going to run a path along the back so they'll end up 13' long. One's 4' wide and the other is 6' wide tapering to 4' wide. they both used to become very boggy during winter but that should be sorted now. Beside those beds I have my current 6'x8' greenhouse soon to be joined by the one I've been given. They're sat on a concrete base so everything needs growing in pots or grow bags.

In the large greenhouse, I call it a greenhouse but it only has netting for sides, anyway in there I have 4 beds at the top end. From left to right they're 30'x4', 27'x4', 24'x3' and 21'x4'. In the small greenhouse, although it has it's front and back taken off during the summer, I have a single 30'x3' bed. My last growing space is the potting shed. Once the dahlias are planted and everythings tidied up I gain 2* 30'x2' benches to grow on, this is around June/July though so getting on in the year.

The growing plan

At home

The long bed will be used for my brassicas, I should have space for about 6 summer purple sprouting broccoli, and 6 quick heading calabrese, I'll throw a cabbage plant between each of these and harvest them young as greens

One of the 4'x4' beds already has chives in it so I'll probably just throw some spring onions in to keep the company, I want to build one of the others up into a herb bed but I need to find out which herbs it'd suit. The 6'x4' bed has my walking onions in it so I might add some spinach to keep them company.

The slim bed along the trellis will be filled with sugar snaps as the Mighty V isn't growing sweet peas this year. The two tubs are going to be filled with fennel, there's room for a second row of crops along the front, but I haven't decided what to put in.

And finally, we'll be growing lettuce in window box type tubs, it slows the slugs down a tad.

My Lil Patch in the corner

My new greenhouse will be going on the left soon

From left to right : the new greenhouse will be used for growing herbs and small chilli plants, the Mighty V intends to try selling these at car boots and I have to humour her huh? The current greenhouse is going to be dived 50/50 between aubergines and melons. The aubs did crap last year but I'm guessing the fault lies with the grower so I'm determined to do better this year. The melons were fantastic last year so I'm hoping to repeat that performance.

The tapering bed on the left is going to be used to grow a selection of potatoes, don't ask me which ones as Iain from JBA Seed Potatoes is sending me his choice of seeds and I won't know until I get them. The bed on the right will have a row of peas on the right hand side as they'll not cast much more shadow than the wall, and on the left I'll have a couple of courgette and some butternut squash.

Large Greenhouse

The two beds on the left will be widened to 4' soon

From left to right

Bed 1 : 30' x 4'

The top end will be used to grow a 5' block of sweetcorn, not sure what variety yet as I haven't found the seeds. The next 18' or so will runner ( cherokee trail of tears : saved seed ), string beans ( some italian name ) and a couple of cucumbers, when I find those seeds. They'll be grown up a Munty Frame the same as last year as I got great results. In front of them I should have room for 2 or 3 rows of borlotti's. Finally, at the bottom end of the bed I have a 7' patch which I might try growing quinola in.

Bed 2 : 27' x 4'

The top 15' of the bed has got my 2 rows of broad beans in already, the next 5' will be used for parsnips, the next 5' for carrots and the rest of the space will be filled with turnips or something

Bed 3 : 24' x 3'

The top few feet has got my garlic growing in it, saved seed from last years 'cos I'm cheap, that's followed by some of my onions sets, the it'll be followed by my onions seedlings and then it has more onion sets and my shallots. it's a pretty full bed.

Bed 4 : 21' x 4'

The majority of this is my permanent asparagus bed, can't wait until I can start cropping it, but there's a 2' x 4' patch at the top that I'm going to use for bits and bobs this year and then from next year onwards I'm going to use it as a vegetable flower bed where I'll plant stuff that I'm going to allow to run to flower so I can save the seed.

Small Greenhouse

My beds the one on the right with the stakes on it

Like last year I'm going to be using half of the bed to grow tomatoes, I still need to buy some seeds but there's time yet, all told I should end up with about 30 plants of 2 or 3 varieties. The other half of the bed will be used for some of my chilli plants, I've got 20+ varieties and I want to grow a couple of each if possible. I also want to try and keep at least one plant of each variety isolated so that I can save the seed later in the year, this goes for the tomatoes as well.

Potting Shed

The benches will be empty around late june

I'll use some of the space for the chilli plants that wont fit in the small greenhouse, I need to try and find out which varieties are shortest as there's only a few feet of headroom above the benches. I'm thinking of playing with chilli cuttings this year, sso I could use the rest of teh space for that.

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Last time I had a "no, god exists, he creates all the shit you see!!ONE!" person around, I pointed out that grass grows and shit, and science kinda explains shit like that ... so, bless, he asked me to prove science by making grass grow on my carpet ( we were in the front room ) "before my very eyes" ... told him that if he was happy to wait a while I could throw down some seed and water it .... might take a week or two ... "aha!!ONE! SEE!!ELEVEN!, SCIENCE CAN'T DO THAT" ... so i, quietly, told him I'd be a fucking convert if he could make god do it

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yabba_hh: I think, I type, I read what I type, I think "fuck, what was I thinking when I typed that?!"
tuxnus: that's two more thoughts than I give you credit for

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