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Are pond pumps sexy?

Posted in : Pond Pumps

Note : I don't sell pond pumps! If you're looking for a pond pump then visit the Pond Pumps section of my mates online aquatics shop ;).

Cheryl insisted that I sex up pond pumps .... yeah right .... how the hell do you sex up a lump of plastic with a few spinning things in it ...... hmmmm, maybe I shouldn't continue that line huh Cheryl?;)

Well my quest to dominate google continues, today there were 822,000 results for Pond Pumps in google(uk), and funnily enough, I don't yet come in the top 1,000 results (which is the most that google will show you for any search term) but, undaunted, I struggle onwards and upwards towards the pinnicle which is my goal.

Now, my mate (the one with the online aquatics business that currently tops google(uk) ), plays about with the keyword density on his pages, he rearanges whole blocks of text, and sometimes he even spends hours moving one word around ....... why? To stay number one in google .... how anal is that?

Ok, ok, so being number one makes a financial difference to him, but hell, he's rich enough already (he owns an Aston Martin DB7 for gods sake), and I'm just a poor little blogger, I need the number one spot to get rich......... of course, it would help if I actually sold pond pumps!!!!

So, back to sex, how can I make the subject pond pumps sexy?? I mean, that's a bigger bloody challenge than trying to get to the top of google!!!! Sheeesh, ah well, I'll give it a shot ..... Pond pumps have a wonderfully sleek exterior that you just can't help but trail your fingers over lingeringly ....... urm ....... they have these cool little impellers that spin round at a dizzying rate ........ urm ....... they have pipes sticking out of them at an erotic angle ....... urm ........ ohhh yeah, they're built to suck :|

I think I stick to trying to get to the top of google, it's far easier.

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