and they don't have a sense of humour between them

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wtf is "colour"?

We Americans invented English. Didn't you know that? It is named after us, after all. It's called English because it's the language of english-speaking Americans. The UK is just one of our territories that speaks a strange dialect of English.

There's a difference!? Maybe we should call off our nuclear strike on your flower garden. Oops, too late.

..Quick head to the air raid shelter (the greenhouse) for cover

Now talking about American English, the word that really bugs me is their way of saying (UK) Aluminium pronounced ali-min-ium NOT (USA) alume-min-um

Gz

We're just pronuoncing it how it's spelled over here (including Canada):

Over here we pronounce it pronouncing as we find "pronuoncing" confusing

Ohh, and "spelled" is summat that Terry Pratchetts weird sisters have done to you

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I say garlic and you say "no thanks"

and its a bloody scon not a scoone

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Male blonde joke

A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming
from the bedroom. he rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed,
sweating and panting.
"what's up?" he says: "i'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.
he rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his
4-year-old son comes up and says "daddy! daddy! uncle ted's hiding in
your closet and he's got no clothes on!"
the guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. sure enough,
there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor.
"you rotten s.o.b ," says the husband: "my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids!"

Only a lil' bit

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