Posted in : Pond Pumps
Note : I don't sell pond pumps! If you're looking for a pond pump then visit the Pond Pumps section of my mates online aquatics shop ;).
It's been a fair tad since I last bothered playing with google for pond pumps, but I'm somehow on the second page of google for the search term, and I get a fair bit of traffic from pond related searches, and all because Barry said a blog would never get to the top ... then he made me promise to stop trying because I was getting a smidge to close for comfort
Anyway, this post is nothing about getting to the top of google for
because that'd be childish, I mean, he admitted defeat when I got close ... and I'm waaaaaay to old to be childish .... right?
He'll kill me if I get to number one ... hmmm, I wonder if his lawyers could successfully claim it was suicide and not murder?
The guilty party.
A tad ago I got a brand new computer system from a place called Chillblast, which is based just over the wall in Glasgow. It's a hell of a system, a nice little pentium dual core 3.0 with a pair of matched corsair 1 gig sticks, 1/2 terrabyte of western digital sata drives ...... ohhhh, and it was water cooled! ........ which was a great gimmic to brag to my mates about. So, for the best part of a year I've been toddling along on my chilled beast, with it's cpu ticking over between 35°C and 45°C, with the motherboard about the same temperature and all was happy in the world ......... until 3 days ago.
The water pump died on my cooling system, which I caught on to real fast ...... mainly because the temperature meandered through the 80°C mark ( at which point all sorts of alarms and bells went off ) ... skipped through the 90°C's ....... and the system promptly turned off at 100°C!!!!! ..... Now, whilst this is an exceptionally fast way to shut a system down, I don't recommend it. As you can imagine, this was a tad of an upset for me, I had to wait 15 hours before the shop was open and I could attempt to get this resolved ....... 15 hours of no pc!!!!! No worries, I'm mummys brave lil soldier, I can survive that long
After sleeping in as long as I could, and then sitting by the phone watching the second hand meander round the clock face with as much patience as I could muster I eventually decided that anybody who said they worked for a living should damn well be at work .......... The good news was, they had an answering machine which politely informed me that most people don't consider dawn to be an appropriate start time, and would I mind phoning back in a few hours when the dew had evaporated? ....... The second hand gets really boring after the first few hundred revolutions ...... Anyway, eventually they answered ( "they" is a guy called Martin ..... anyone who puts up with a blonde like me deserves naming ).
We can rebuild it.
Martin is an incredibly helpful guy, and very patient. He'll even explain things in monosyllabic words so that I can understand. He very helpfully explained to me that the company that makes the water cooling system that I have had gone bankrupt, and that he was unable to replace the pump!!!! WHAT!!!!! ...... So, now I'm facing sending my pc away to Glasgow for the best part of a week .... so I've text'd Nick, and he's off on one trying to buy a backup pc so that I don't turn into a gibbering wreck ..... and then I remember that Martin's still on the phone, and, unlike most companies, he doesn't invalidate your warranty if you undo the side of your pc ...... in fact he encourages it!
So, I asked Martin what could be done about things, only to find that the solution was simple. I could be reverted back to the stock cooling system with no problems at all ( and he'd happily refund me the cost of the cooling system ...... which I'd forgotten to ask about ) "it'd need to be a real intel heatsink and fan though" ...... how cool! I got sent all the extraneous bits when my system was first delivered, so I had those ..... remember how I said Martin encourages you to take the side off yourself?
So ..... now I've got the side off and Martin's talked me through everything that I need to do to remove the old pump and *snap* in the "real Intel inside" heatsink and fan ( btw Martin, when you said "you have to apply a tad of pressure", you weren't fuckin' kidding! ) and I've hung up, got my screw driver and toilet paper ( to clean the paste off the chip huh? ) and I'm ready to rock and roll.
After a fair amount of pushing, I decided I had the clips the wrong way round, so I pushed my graphics card back in ( which had popped out cos I bent the board that much ), turned the clips around, tried again and everything went like a dream! Not only had I managed to convert my chilled beast back into a beast, I'd also gained two inches on my biceps from fitting the heatsink .... with a smug look on my face, I hit the on button and watched windows meander round it's merry path trying to work out what a silicon implant was.
During one of my more "control freak" moments of the windows start up, I clicked "ok" in an aggressive manner on an alarm window that was politely informing me that my cpu would prefer that it wasn't associated with temperatures in excess of 80°C ....... 80°C!!!! .... damn ..... so I went to find some bacon and eggs ... as you can imagine, I wasn't a happy bunny. My system now ran at about 65°C to 75°C instead of the 35°C to 45°C that it used to run at
Ready to test drive
Well, technically they don't, but I haven't posted about pond pumps for ages, so I was just reminding google that I should be on page one ....... anyway, it does involve a fish tank pump, which is close enough ...... so, I'm a smidge of an unhappy bunny, when I remember that I know somebody who owns an aquatics shop .... and apart from many other things, like dahlias and stuff, they happen to have pumps .... and I need a pump ..... and not all blonde ideas are screwed, just most of them ..... so, I packed my disconnected cooling system into my bag, and wandered off to the field.
Barry, if yer reading this, turn away now ....... cos I got Gary infected with my plan and we spent the whole of his brew break playing with buckets and pumps and shit .... oh yeah, I owe you for a pump ...... ok, now that Barry's gone, my reasoning was simple. It was the pump that was gone on my system, so I needed a new pump, and I had a mate that stocks pumps from 100 litres an hour to "urm, we appear to have emptied the ocean", and I needed a new pump .... I may be blonde, but 2 + 2 is only a slightly rigorous but achievable challenge. So, after fannying about in the warehouse for a tad, playing with various sized pumps, we decided on a 400 litre an hour thing .... all we needed now was some tubing and a bucket.
Plenty of room for beer
Not us, but we did need to crack open a tube of silicon ( another £1.20 I owe yah, if yer reading ). From a scraps bin, we found some couplings that would allow us to pass a hose through the side of the tub we settled on using, so that was the inflow taken care off. A few cups of hot water and some biceps enhancing and we managed to stretch the original tube onto the pump outlet .... of course, boys and their toys and all, we had to test it ..... then, being anal, we had to test it without the cooling system in the loop.
Being the technical guys we are, we decided that we couldn't see much of a difference in the pumps outflow, once it was connected into the loop with the radiator and the knackered pump, so we decided that we were on to a winner ..... God loves a trier and all that ...... apparently .... so, then we ran round half the town trying to get some paste stuff that you're meant to put on a heatsink before slapping it on a chip and firing up ..... we wanted to look professional
Ok, it doesn't look pretty .... and it's certainly not as "self contained" as the original system ..... but I'll make allowances ...... *hits the on button* ..... now, like most people, I have a load of temperature and fan sensors and shit scattered around my system ... some of them even work ... and I have some software that sparks up with those readings ( the same software that gives the polite "excuse me, your chip asked me if I could possibly interrupt you and mention that it's feeling a smidge on the warm side" notices ) ..... and I was watching it like a hawk, not that I've seen many 6 foot hawks, but I'd imagine I looked like one if one existed
23 degrees!!!!! WOW!!!! Now that's almost cold enough to throw your beer in, and I made sure I got a big enough bucket to fit in a 4 pack huh. To give you a comparison, the previous watercooling ( which, admittedly, didn't have 50 litres of reservoir on it ) used to hit about 40°C on start up, drop to about 36°C and then eventually wander to 42°C ish for a running temp ..... Our "Bodge it Sons & Co" system started at 23°C degress and has finally ( after several hours ) managed to find 32°C as a running temperature. The air cooled version on the other hand made some great bacon
Chilled to perfection.
Having studied the events and outcomes of the last few days, with the same dedication that I give to other complex stuff like breathing and things, I've come to the following conclusions ( you can come back now Barry )
Those of you that know me know that I'm not a "get yer shit from here" commission whore ( hey scott, notice the total lack of amazon links? ), but I've been really impressed with Chillblast from day one, and that's never been dented when I've had problems. ..... Martin, thanks for putting up with a blonde and I hope this post generates some sales for you
And Scott ( from the pastel palace ) thinks he makes long posts
Ps. Martin, my chilled beast lost it's overclocking when the pump died ..... so, you gonna send me a cool chillblast case badge for my bucket, or do I need to send it to you for the install?
Posted in : Pond Pumps
Well I have to admit I'd totally forgotten about my quest for world domination of the google(uk) results for Pond Pumps ..... it's an easy oversight ...... but now I'm back with avengence! The best thing is that although I haven't done anything about it since May last year I've somehow crept into the top 50 in the google listings!! ...... how cool
Admittedly google appears to be going thorough it's little dance again at the moment, but the last time it did that I only managed to get into the top 500 so this is one hell of an improvement and hopefully after all the listings have settled down I'll still be somewhere within the top 700, which is the max results that google shows. Of course, my position in google has absolutely no effect on me financially as I don't sell pond pumps, and I've no intention of doing so. I'm purely doing all this just to demonstrate to my mate the power of a blog to affect the google rankings for his chosen keywords.
This doesn't mean that I wouldn't get a childish pleasure out of knocking my mate off the top spot for the google results ..... although he probably wouldn't speak to me for a fair while if I did that ...... mind you, he's the one that was daft enough to throw down the gauntlet huh? ..... I'd be laughing my arse off ..... no, really, I would, he really is anal about his google position .... The best bit is, whilst I'm fairly sure that he doesn't read my blog, I just know that Gary will show him this post ..... if only for the sadistic pleasure he'll get out of it himself ( Hi Barry, enjoy your time at the top whilst yah still can huh mate? )
..... Did I mention that Gary has a great collection of Usa Patches ? ( hey, one good turn deserves another huh )
Anyway, I'm gonna wander off and leave all y'all in peace now,
Posted in : Pond Pumps
Well bugger me!!!! I'm actually in the top 500 for Pond Pumps in Google(uk) ...... mind you, the total results have dropped to back 1,500,000 (looks like google have severely prunned their database) ...... but that still means that I'm in the top 0.03333333333% (ish) of the results ....... hmmmmm, maybe I should start selling them?
Once again, if you're a confused visitor that's landed on my tacky pad looking for somewhere to buy a pond pump you might prefer to visit this online aquatics shop where they actually sell them ..... In the meantime I'm just gonna quietly get on with my world dommination of the google results.
My mates gonna be pissed ..... he'll pretend that he's not of course, and he'll point out the fact that I'm only in the top 500 ...... but he'll still be pissed . Of course, I could have attempted to speed up the process by being just as anal about "keyword frequency" and "word weight" and other technical stuff like that, but hell, the suns out and who has time for such stuff?
It does show some of the power of a blog to affect a search engines rankings though, you should see how many hits I get from people searching for pond pumps ....... mind you, the hits I get from the less endowed looking for a totally different type of pump is head to head for highest position ...... so to speak
Anyway, I'm off for a beer to celebrate.
Keywords : [keys][pond pumps] [google] [mate] [pissed][/keys]
Damn, I can almost see the end of winter, complete with snow this year as well ...... which confused the rain a tad, it kinda didn't know where to land.... so we gave it directions to France. Anyway, today was the first day of the year that I bimbled down to the field, how cool???? ..... well, a tad parky actually, I didn't quite break out my shorts for the occasion ..... although, being an optomist, I took them with me.continued.....
Damn, I finally got my art board set up again after it spent a couple of years sulking in the garage. Next I'll have to get my stool out of the attic and buy some new pens and pencils. It'll be cool to get back into doodling, it's one of the most relaxing things in the world, and I haven't felt inclined for far, far , far to long.
Other good news in bimboland, the days are getting longer ..... well, technically they're the same length, they just have a longer period between the dark bits ...... and we've even had a few days when it hasn't rained!! Damn, i might just have to dust off the trusty old shorts ready for growing season
Just to get you all totally excited, I've also managed to get me a digital camcorder thing, so now I can innundate you with loads of photos of the field without having to wait for Lord Litchfield Ash to turn up. Bet yah can't wait huh? On top of that, if I can ever work out how, I'll be able to upload videos as well ......how cool ..... anybody wanna be a porn star?
Geeky news, you'll be suprised to hear that my quest for world domination, well, the bit of the world that includes being number one in google(uk), is going a tad slowly. Ahhh well, they won't have to filter my website in China then huh?
Even more geeky news, mainly because it's a tad hard to have bimbling bimbo news in winter. AstonishMe completed it's first website as a team (Ohio Boating). This is just the beginning, we're already working on the next site, out of 5, for the same client. I can't wait until we show them what we've got planned, it's truly going to blow them away. We've also got another site that's almost ready for public release as well, and a couple of others on the horizon ....... one of which is about a woman who reads backsides for a living ..... you think I kid? Go vist psychic Sam's current website ...... and they call me wierd!!
Other bimbo news, my mates just had a baby girl ...... well, his wife had the baby obviously ...... she weighs about 7 stone, has a full head of blonde hair and all her teeth ...... dunno about the baby, I think it came in as "small and squealing". Anyway, CONGRATULATIONS Pete and Wench, and baby Wenchette
Well, I'm gonna wander off and leave you in peace now, so have fun,