Another month, another bunch of spamming wankers that can't tell the difference between 403 and 200, maybe they should go back to school and learn basic algebra? .... Mind you, all the school kids seem to want to unblock myspace nowadays, so maybe the lack of intelligence is systemic?

As always there's a new muppet that's one brick short of a load when it comes to intelligence, at least they've found something that they excel at ...... if only they awarded trophies for stupidity, they'd have 1,488 trophies engraved with "I was told to shove it up my arse" :|

In total this month there were 6,863 contestants who valiantly tried 26,842 times to work out what "403 your shit is not wanted" means ..... unsurprisingly they all failed .... sorry guys, but at least you have a new trophy for your overflowing cabinet huh? The good news is that they make anyone trying to access myspace from school look like a bloody genius, so anybody out their trying to bypass their schools myspace filter...... pat yerself on the back and repeat after me "I may have an IQ smaller than my shoe size, but at least I'm not a spammer" :D

As well as picking on the tits that try to comment spam me I also decided to pick on all the referrer spam that I get ... no surprises that these guys share the same IQ level as the normal "buy your viagra from Canada" arses, so far, out of 4,000+ attempts ( not including the half dozen false positives ), they've also been told that spam is a suppository in disguise.... , maybe I should add a new results table just for them?

Anyway, it's time I wandered off and left all y'all in peace again ;)
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An empty blacklist stops this genius

I always knew that spammers measured their IQ on a slightly different scale than the rest of the world, ( theirs has a lot less big numbers for them to worry about ..... like anything above 1 ), but Miquel Stoops ( such an appropriate name for a spammer ) who's the registered owner of jecenter really has trouble with big numbers. Mainly the number "403", or possibly it's the word "Forbidden" that follows it that confuses him? Certainly one of the two.

As Miquel was having extreeme difficulty understanding the words "shove it up your arse" and "403 Forbidden" I decided to be nice to him and send him a "++?????++ Out of Cheese Error. Redo From Start." message instead. Of course, the irony of this will be lost on him because he'd need to have read all about HEX and we already know he has difficulty reading :|

Somehow I don't think this will work either, as he's still attempting to shove his crap down my neck, and he's still been told exactly which of his orrifices I think is the best destination for it, but we live in hope huh?
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I think we can safely say that 82.146.57.30 is never going to be a contestant on mastermind ...... they'd probably have a hard time being a contestant on a quiz made for any IQ above 1 ...... 1981 times they got told to shove their spam up their arse ....... 1981 ...... I know some people can be a bit slow on the uptake, but that's aproaching coma speed. As you can see from the table on the right this genius was just the bluntest pencil in a box full of blunt pencils.

Altogether this month their were 6,332 contestants who played a total of 27065 games, all of which they lost. I wonder how they'll feel when I finish coding the new rules in. These guys are so effective at playing the game that I've decided to turn off comment moderation so now you're free to leave a comment whenever you want and it'll be published instantly, you don't even have to decipher one of those captcha things ;)

Having been nagged by a few people I've decided it's time I got of my arse and finished coding up the new version of the game. Once it's finished I'll see about making a public version of it available. The bad news is it'll take a while to complete so don't hold your breath. The good news is you'll be able to use it on any php website, not just a b2evo blog.

It's about time that free hosts started to police their own systems, the majority of spam crap comes from throw away websites hosted on places like 110mb and blogspot has been in the central blacklist for ages for a bloody good reason. It really wouldn't take much for these hosts to check if a website contains spam, hell half the time you can just check the file names and directory structure as these arses really do go for the easy option everytime.

One of my previous antispam gizmos had a list of free hosts and their abuse emails, it used to send them a complaint email with a copy of the attempted spam and the domain it was pushing. It was pretty effective as the hosts got fed up with all the abuse emails that came in and used to shut the sites down fairly quickly. Sorry if it gave you a headache guys, but if you policed your own system I wouldn't be getting crap from spammers hosted by you would I? I'm seriously considering resurrecting that for the new version, so be warned if you run a free hosting service huh? ;)

Anyway I suppose it's time I wandered off and made a start on the recode,
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March was the first full month that Hang The Wankers has been running and as you can see from the results on the right the competition was fierce, with the top 13 contestants playing a total of 5,179 games ..... all of which they lost.

Now I don't know about you lot, but if I was a spammer I'd probably think " ohh, I don't appear to be able to spam that blog, I know, I'll save my resources and spam someone else instead ", and I'd like to think that I'd come to that conclusion waaaaaaaaaaay before the 200^th time it told me to take my spam and shove it up my arse ...... so what does that tell you about the intelligence of these players?

Now, before a load of spammers leap to their own defense and point out that they just play a game of numbers, lets take a look at those numbers. In total there were 27,701 games played, all of which they lost. On average each contestant played 4.8 games, all of which they lost. The actual number of contestants that played 4.8 games or more was 815. Between them these 815 geniuses played 20,680 games, all of which they lost ..... are you starting to see a pattern here?

The simple fact is, if I got told to shove my spam up my arse 20,000+ times I'd like to think I'd start to get the message, but not these guys, they appear to have problems understanding. So, let me try and make it a smidge clearer for them.

Hey spammer, take your spam and shove it up your arse, I don't want it :|

Somehow I still don't think they'll get the message, so I might have to add some new twists to the game to see if that encourages them to activate their brain cell ... I'm fairly certain that they'll hate the new rules ;) ..... to be fair though, here's a warning ......

If you spam any of my sites I will cost you time and money.

and you'll still get told to shove it up your arse :|

Anyway, I think it's time that I meandered off to add the new rules to the game,
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